


this life i have

by SinginInTheRaine



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Confessions, F/F, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Implied Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-14
Updated: 2019-04-14
Packaged: 2020-01-13 03:04:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,100
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18460163
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SinginInTheRaine/pseuds/SinginInTheRaine
Summary: A moment between Kara and Nia, set at some undetermined point of this current season.





	this life i have

**Author's Note:**

  * For [](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts).



It was past midnight when she found her, perched in the darkness on top of the apartment building’s roof, hidden in the shadow of the churning air conditioners so even the light of the moon didn’t reach her. She was staring out into nothingness when Nia bent down beside her, but it wasn’t until Nia gently touched her leg that Kara seemed to realize she was there.

“Hi,” Nia said softly to her friend.

“Hi,” Kara said, then, “How’d you find me?”

Nia shrugged. “I had--”

“Please don’t say a dream,” Kara interrupted.

“A feeling.” 

“Am I that obvious?”

“Not at all.” Nia shifted so she was sitting on the ground beside Kara, moving just a touch closer to her in the process, her hand still resting gently on Kara’s leg. “I’m just getting very perceptive is all.”

It was true. Sometimes, Nia didn’t even recognize who she was anymore, but in a good way. She had spent so much time trying to pretend she didn’t have these powers. So much time trying to hide her true self from her mother and her sister and from everyone around her. But now, with Kara — and with Brainy and J’onn by extension — she could finally start to become who she really was. Who she was always supposed to be.

Nia. Dreamer. A girl from another planet.

It was nice having people who understood, but from the expression on Kara’s face right now, she knew her friend wasn’t having the same great moment.

“Alex?” she asked her.

“I _am_ that obvious,” Kara said.

Nia skootched even closer to Kara, removing her hand from her leg to wrap it around her shoulders, smiling to herself when Kara leaned against her a little.

“I know how it feels to not be able to talk to my sister about my powers,” she said softly. “But I’ve never had to worry about not being able to talk to my sister about who I _am_. Where I’m from. I can’t imagine how hard it must be.”

“It’s the right thing to do,” Kara said, but she didn’t sound quite as confident in her beliefs as normal. Nia understood that too. With all the tension in the world lately — Agent Liberty and the Elite and just the general sense of divisiveness — it was getting harder and harder to know what the right thing to do was anymore.

Nia let her head rest just slightly against Kara’s. She could almost feel the sadness radiating from the woman next to her.

“When I first came to National City,” Nia started, “I was so lonely. I pretended I wasn’t. I pretended I was happy. And in some ways I was. Getting my job as a reporter at Catco was my dream, and I had a roommate who’s nice and talkative, and it kind of all felt like I was finally starting to be this independent woman I had always imagined myself to be. Living in the big city, making a name for herself. Having a roommate, doing the single life, that kind of thing.”

She paused to make sure Kara was still listening. But of course she was. She was looking at Nia like she was the most important thing in the world right now. Nia almost had to remind herself to breathe because of it.

“I thought I should be on top of the world,” Nia continued. “I thought I didn’t have any right to be unhappy when I was doing what I wanted. But my heart just _ached_. And at night, I’d lie in bed and just want to cry.”

Nia paused again, took another breath. Kara’s hand had found Nia’s leg while she was talking, and this time Kara was the one to rub her gently.

“I don’t know what I’m saying,” Nia said, shaking her head and almost laughing at herself. Apparently the superhero skill of knowing just what to say was not one that just came on magically. “I guess I’m just saying that I know the kind of loneliness that can come from hiding your truth. And I know that keeping big secrets from people who love you — and even just from people who are in the same room as you every day — can be really, really hard. And I’m sorry you have to do that with Alex.”

Kara was quiet for a moment. Too long of a moment. Nia felt her stomach start to drop.

“Did I say something wrong?” she finally said. “I’m really sorry ...”

“Oh! No!” Kara sat straight up and turned so she was facing Nia. “You’re perfect,” she said. “I’m just thinking.”

“Okay,” Nia said. “But I’ve found that sometimes thinking too much about things you can’t change can be worse than … not thinking.”

Kara pulled back a little at that. A smile was starting to form across her face. “Oh, really?” she said.

Nia felt herself almost begin to blush. “Just, you know, keeping your mind off things … you can, you know, maybe gain a new perspective.” She looked away from Kara and out at the stars and the moon. She really needed to learn when to stop talking.

“What do you recommend?” Kara asked. “Training?”

“Nah,” Nia said. “We always do that.”

“Well, I can’t get drunk on human alcohol.”

“Same,” Nia said. “But I do like a huge bowl of ice cream and cheesy movies that we can stay up and make fun of. Maybe play a few games of Truth or Dare but mostly dare. Or figure out a prank or two to pull on Brainy when he least expects it.”

Kara laughed. Nia expected her to shut her down, but instead Kara got to her feet, pulling Nia with her. 

“That sounds fun,” she said.

“Really?”

“Why do you sound so surprised? It was your idea.”

“I think you’d know by now that my ideas are not always the best.”

Kara shook her head and reached for Nia’s hand. “I think you’d know by now that you’re amazing and you really need to stop undervaluing yourself.”

This time Nia really did blush, grateful for the darkness that kept Kara from noticing.

“You know what else helps with the not thinking?” Nia said as she and Kara started toward the ladder that led back into the apartment building.

“You’re going to say making out, aren’t you?” Kara laughed.

“Well,” Nia protested, “it does!”

“Let’s just say,” Kara said with a wry smile, and Nia noticed that the haunted look that had been in her eyes all day was finally gone, “that it’s not totally off the table.”


End file.
